Filled

I love you okay?

That's why I want you to stop.  Where is your self-control? Stop filling your lungs with smoke.  I don't want you to get cancer.  Also. It makes you smell.  And you know I absolutely hate the smell and taste of cigarettes.

Yeah I can just see you right now saying, "But you've smoked some too"
Ok how many total have I smoked? Less than 20. IN THE PAST YEAR.  fuck you, science.
Also. I only started because I didn't want you to smoke the entire first pack by yourself/I wanted to see what smoking one was like.

So please. Just quit.

I told you earlier today, "Until you stop smoking, don't talk to me."
For both our sake's, please stop.  I'll miss you too much.

Stop buying drugs.

Lyrics of the Day:
I am in misery.
There ain't nobody who can comfort me (oh yeah)
Why won't you answer me
The silence is slowly killing me
Maroon 5- Misery

Projects

Hi Miss Sheen.

You're in China right now getting eaten alive by mosquitoes. You have some tasty blood haha :)
have you ever noticed that when you look at a word too much you start reading it wrong? like blood is not pronounced in my head as BLOOOOOOOOOO-DUH.

Anyways.  We never really started any of our craft projects.  Tomorrow, Mr. Bra, Miss, Priskiller, and I will be starting a new project.  We're making longboards apparently...
Hella expensive. So this project will be a many month long project.  So we can do some of our crafties when you get back in two weeks.

come back sooooooooon!

Lyrics of the Day:
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
Avril Lavigne- When You're Gone


yeah I don't actually miss you that much.  But I know someone else who does ;D

what the fuck

I don't know how I should feel about this.

What are the FUCKING odds that our anniversary should fall on HER FUCKING BIRTHDAY.

what the fuck.

I don't even want that to be my anniversary anymore.  It makes me feel dirty.  When I think about it.  I just imagine.  You touching her the way you touch me.  You being with her the way you lie with me.  Her giving you more than I have ever been able to give you.  fuck.

How the hell did I miss that it was her birthday all those times I stalked her.

It made me so upset when I saw her.  I should have fucked her up.
When you say you are glad I didn't.  Tell me.  Are you glad I didn't get in trouble.  Or are you glad she didn't get hurt.

This is too much for me to handle.

fuck this.

Stop it

I hate whiners. But I'm too nice to say anything.
Suck it up and rub some dirt in it. Be a man.

Christ sake. I went through exactly the same thing that you did.  Do you see my relationship shattered and broken? NO. Why?

Because I fucking love him. (and the other thing too...)

Granted, these things take a long time to get over. But I don't understand why you couldn't work through your problems, because you obviously love him a lot.  AND WHY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM.  I don't think I could do it.
So yes, I applaud you on that, but I'll tell you you're stupid for putting yourself through this kind of emotional anguish every time you have to see him.

My way of dealing with it was beating the shit out of him.  Sure, I cried for a few days. But then he got mad sick and I had to put aside this betrayal and just act on all the love I had for him and resist trying to smother him in his sleep haha.

I understand you will still need to talk to someone, so please, stop this anonymous, whishy-washy, angsty shit and just talk to someone.

You know where to find me.  Man up.

Lyrics of the Day:
It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both


I tried and tired to let you go 
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know


Maroon 5: Nothing Lasts Forever

THE ENDDD

woooooooooowwwwwwwwwww
so I have OFFICIALLY ended my freshman year of college!!!
err technically I guess I'm going to be second semester sophomore haha

welp its been a pretty great year. I haven't made as many friends as I would have liked but I made a fair number that I know I'll keep in contact with next year.   probably...maybe..

Also, sadness.  Last night meant my last night of snuggling up with Mr. AHHCHOO in bed :(
Even if he is snorer, drooler, cover-hogger, face-smacking with elbows-er, super morning breather, mattress asser, he is still my snuggle buddy <3

He is gonna be pretty busy this summer with his internship so hopefully I can find a job. My plan is to apply to all the frozen yogurt places in my city hahah

anyways I can't believe I JUST found out about this but apparently at Appalachian they had a "hunger games" where they got to kill of other tributes by stabbing their balloons or stealing their flags.
SPEAKING OF THE HUNGER GAMES, I wrote my last English paper on the differences between the hunger games and battle royale. GUESS WHO GOT AN AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
THIS GUY. girl...

So I just unlocked a new character in LoL..Varus.
hahah those guys... Varus is an archer and his name is also a medical term for a knee deformity.
lololololololoolololol i see what you did there..

hmm anyways its almost 4am!!
goodnight everyone!

Lyrics of the Day:
School's out for summer
School's out forever
School's been blown to pieces


No more pencils
No more books
No more teacher's dirty looks
School's Out- Alice Cooper

Drunk

Oh gosh. What's wrong with me.

Wow I rag on Mr. AHHCHOO all the time about drinking and then I get hammered..

also..

lusting? totally not my style.

Too much

Do you even notice?

You're addicted.

Lyrics of the Day:

Bucket full of tears

babe you know Im here

Im here waiting

Close your precious eyes

and just realize

Im still fighting

For you to be with me

and sit under this tree

and we can watch the sunrise,

we can watch the sunrise

Wake up feel the air that Im breathin

I cant explain this feeling that Im feelin

I wont go another day without you

I know it feels

like no ones around

but baby you’re wrong

Just get rid of the fear

promise that Im here

I’ll never be gone

So baby come with me

we can fly away and we can watch the

stars shine

And baby you can be my love

Oh

Wake up feel the air that Im breathin

I cant explain this feeling that Im feelin

I wont go another day without you

Without you

Hold on I promise its gets brighter

and when it rains I’ll hold you even tighter

I won’t go another day without you

Without you

This is me tonight

no more games and no more lies

and I know its right

cause of the way you look into my eyes

and when I hold you tight

the worries disappear Im glad you’re in my life

Wake up feel the air that Im breathin

I cant explain this feeling that Im feelin

I wont go another day without you

Hold on I promise its gets brighter

and when it rains I’ll hold you even tighter

I won’t go another day without you

Without you

And I won’t go another day,

Without you

AJ Rafael: Without You