Sorry for calling you names. Sorry for attacking you.
So quit it.
you're hurting me :(
who the fuck is dot.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Asshole
I love you. You know I do.
But things are different now.
I like MasterChef. I like watching tv with you. But its just not the same as last year and The Office.
It doesn't feel the same. I'm not feeling it. I'm sacrificing my time by watching shows that I have already seen, just so you can watch and catch up, and half the time you aren't even paying attention; always on that damn phone of yours.
You say that I'm full of empty threats and fluff. But they aren't empty threats. They're promises.
You say that you have a breaking point. So do I.
Part of me has half a mind to just chuck your phone as far as I possibly can...and then go stomp on it some more. Sometimes I really want to punch you in the face for being an asshole.
After our talk last night and then you saying that you had a date? You're the biggest fucking asshole ever.
Go die in a hole.
Do you enjoy making me squirm? Do you enjoy causing me heartache?
Obviously you do. ASSHOLE.
WHO THE FUCK IS DOT.
But things are different now.
I like MasterChef. I like watching tv with you. But its just not the same as last year and The Office.
It doesn't feel the same. I'm not feeling it. I'm sacrificing my time by watching shows that I have already seen, just so you can watch and catch up, and half the time you aren't even paying attention; always on that damn phone of yours.
You say that I'm full of empty threats and fluff. But they aren't empty threats. They're promises.
You say that you have a breaking point. So do I.
Part of me has half a mind to just chuck your phone as far as I possibly can...and then go stomp on it some more. Sometimes I really want to punch you in the face for being an asshole.
After our talk last night and then you saying that you had a date? You're the biggest fucking asshole ever.
Go die in a hole.
Do you enjoy making me squirm? Do you enjoy causing me heartache?
Obviously you do. ASSHOLE.
WHO THE FUCK IS DOT.
Fine...
...that was harsh. But seriously. Why the double standard.
It's not cool.
Stop it.
Who the fuck is dot.
It's not cool.
Stop it.
Who the fuck is dot.
Dot dot dot...
Why do you always hide things from me?
What don't you want me finding out?
When did I ever hide anything from you? That Tyler-thing that happened last year, I didn't hide it. I could have very easily have deleted that conversation. But I didn't. Because I said "I wonder. But that will never happen because I love Kevin" I thought that you would understand that it meant just how much I love you
We were apart for most of the summer due to you working and now suddenly I'm not even allowed to look at your phone? Talk about a double standard. Goddamn.
And who the fuck is DOT.
fuck you
What don't you want me finding out?
When did I ever hide anything from you? That Tyler-thing that happened last year, I didn't hide it. I could have very easily have deleted that conversation. But I didn't. Because I said "I wonder. But that will never happen because I love Kevin" I thought that you would understand that it meant just how much I love you
We were apart for most of the summer due to you working and now suddenly I'm not even allowed to look at your phone? Talk about a double standard. Goddamn.
And who the fuck is DOT.
fuck you
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Heartache
I haven't seen you in so long.
I saw you for all of an hour last Thursday. And before that? Even longer.
I haven't heard your voice in a week and a half.
I haven't properly been with you in almost a month.
I miss your company. I miss your touch. I miss your laugh. I miss your goofy expressions. I miss your stupid jokes. I miss the way your fingers fit perfectly with mine. I miss the way you wrap me up in your arms. I miss listening to you talk about your day. I miss being able to run my fingers through your hair. I miss the way you whisper into my ear just before going to bed. I miss hearing you say, "goodnight. I love you."
I miss you.
Lyrics of the Day:
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
The clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away, I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you
-Avril Lavigne: When You're Gone
I saw you for all of an hour last Thursday. And before that? Even longer.
I haven't heard your voice in a week and a half.
I haven't properly been with you in almost a month.
I miss your company. I miss your touch. I miss your laugh. I miss your goofy expressions. I miss your stupid jokes. I miss the way your fingers fit perfectly with mine. I miss the way you wrap me up in your arms. I miss listening to you talk about your day. I miss being able to run my fingers through your hair. I miss the way you whisper into my ear just before going to bed. I miss hearing you say, "goodnight. I love you."
I miss you.
Lyrics of the Day:
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
The clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away, I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you
-Avril Lavigne: When You're Gone
Thursday, August 9, 2012
What if.
The other night, when you were saying all those hurtful things, I was fully prepared to throw everything I had that was yours in your face.
Okay not really.
But you sounded so final, that I was going to give you back everything. Even the ipod D:
freaking impossibru.
after I fell asleep crying and woke up the next morning, I saw I had some messages from you. And that is when I knew, we couldn't possibly be over. Sending a message to me at 9 in the morning meant that you had spent all last night thinking about me and that you couldn't get me off your mind.
But since I had said "I see. I'll leave you alone. You won't hear from me. It's been amazing. Goodbye"
I didn't respond. I just cried some more.
Then you sent another series of messages my way a few hours later and I just HAD to respond.
I will be eternally thankful that I did. Otherwise, I might have lost you forever.
Now I know that you still love me.
I am going to make this freaking work. I am going to get freaking straight A's this semester. Okay that's a bit mightily tall...I'm going to get at least a 3.5 gpa this semester? AT LEAST.
I am so thankful that you want to help me do my best, but I don't have any right to tie you down. Certainly I would like to, but I don't have the right to be selfish anymore. I know you love me and I am so in love with you, but if you do find anyone who makes you happier, even if you aren't searching, even unintentionally, its okay. I was stupid in the past three years.
But I do love you. And I desperately want to be with you forever.
I want to make this work.
You don't want to sneak around but you said you will be spending lots of nights with me :)
If you know what I mean.
Lyrics of the Day:
I came here to make you dance tonight
I don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you
Shut up cause we won't stop
We're getting down til the sun's coming up
-Cobra Starship: Guilty Pleasure
Okay not really.
But you sounded so final, that I was going to give you back everything. Even the ipod D:
freaking impossibru.
after I fell asleep crying and woke up the next morning, I saw I had some messages from you. And that is when I knew, we couldn't possibly be over. Sending a message to me at 9 in the morning meant that you had spent all last night thinking about me and that you couldn't get me off your mind.
But since I had said "I see. I'll leave you alone. You won't hear from me. It's been amazing. Goodbye"
I didn't respond. I just cried some more.
Then you sent another series of messages my way a few hours later and I just HAD to respond.
I will be eternally thankful that I did. Otherwise, I might have lost you forever.
Now I know that you still love me.
I am going to make this freaking work. I am going to get freaking straight A's this semester. Okay that's a bit mightily tall...I'm going to get at least a 3.5 gpa this semester? AT LEAST.
I am so thankful that you want to help me do my best, but I don't have any right to tie you down. Certainly I would like to, but I don't have the right to be selfish anymore. I know you love me and I am so in love with you, but if you do find anyone who makes you happier, even if you aren't searching, even unintentionally, its okay. I was stupid in the past three years.
But I do love you. And I desperately want to be with you forever.
I want to make this work.
You don't want to sneak around but you said you will be spending lots of nights with me :)
If you know what I mean.
Lyrics of the Day:
I came here to make you dance tonight
I don't care if I'm a guilty pleasure for you
Shut up cause we won't stop
We're getting down til the sun's coming up
-Cobra Starship: Guilty Pleasure
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Wonderment
I think one of the things I love the most about our relationship is the fact that no matter how hard we try, we can't stay angry with one another or stay away from each other.
I don't know about you, but whenever you are angry with me and you say the most hurtful things, it feels like the world is ending. And it makes me feel like my very person has been struck down and I'm nothing but an empty husk of a person, just a shadow of who I used to be.
But then.
Just hours later, after I've cried myself to sleep (and you've presumably angered yourself to sleep) I get to wake up to a glorious series of text messages telling me that you're sorry for saying such things and that they were for my own good. Telling me that I hurt you too. Then you tell me how much I mean to you. Suddenly the world is right again.
Lyrics of the Day:
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way I found out, I'm nothing without you
Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you
-Kelly Clarkson: My Life Would Suck Without You
I don't know about you, but whenever you are angry with me and you say the most hurtful things, it feels like the world is ending. And it makes me feel like my very person has been struck down and I'm nothing but an empty husk of a person, just a shadow of who I used to be.
But then.
Just hours later, after I've cried myself to sleep (and you've presumably angered yourself to sleep) I get to wake up to a glorious series of text messages telling me that you're sorry for saying such things and that they were for my own good. Telling me that I hurt you too. Then you tell me how much I mean to you. Suddenly the world is right again.
Lyrics of the Day:
Maybe I was stupid for telling you goodbye
Maybe I was wrong for trying to pick a fight
I know that I've got issues
But you're pretty messed up too
Either way I found out, I'm nothing without you
Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me and honestly
My life would suck without you
-Kelly Clarkson: My Life Would Suck Without You
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